The Wall
|
The Wall We have been working our way through this thing called The Journey of Faith. Each week I am giving a brief overview of the six stages on the journey as put forward in the book, The Critical Journey: Stages in the Life of Faith, by Janet Hagberg and Robert Guelich. My purpose, for those in our church community, is that each person has a basic understanding of the journey. I realise that over a period of seven or eight weeks some people will miss a meeting or two. By repeating the overview each week, it is my hope that people will understand the basic idea of the journey and their place in it. Overview These stages build upon one another. So, stage one is the starting place; then stage two, and so on. They are also somewhat fuzzy in that we can be in more than one stage at a time, and we can move back and forth between the stages. Understanding these stages is important so that we can understand where we ourselves are situated, but also so that we can have a better understanding of each other. Let’s do a quick overview of the stages. · Stage One: The Recognition of God. Stage one is where we become aware, in a real way, of the existence of God and we begin the journey of faith. The overwhelming sense in stage one is awe. We are in awe of the greatness of God as seen in creation, and we are in awe of the love of God as seen in the cross. · Stage Two: Learning & Belonging. Stage two is a time for forming who we, and what we believe, in the context of those who teach and disciple us. · Stage Three: Productive & Serving. Here we learn that God has equipped us with certain abilities and gifts, and we want to contribute to the group by using those gifts. The emphasis is serving and being productive for God. Most people stop at stage three. It is comfortable. We feel productive and we are getting positive reinforcement from those around us. · Stage Four: The Inward Journey. Stage four is almost always preceded by some kind of crisis. We are full of questions and not many answers. We question who we are and why we do what we do. We question what we have been taught about God. It is an intensely lonely and painful stage but one which is shared by quite a number of biblical heroes. · The Wall. Towards the end of Stage four is the Wall. The Wall is where our will meets God’s will face to face. We face God. We also face our own ugliness and all of the ways in which we have asserted our own egos, while still claiming to follow God. · Stage Five: The Outward Journey. Having been through the Wall, we have seen ourselves at our worst and have accepted and received God’s unconditional love. We are aware of our faults, but we are more aware of God’s grace. We have a looser grip on ourselves and a greater desire to love and accept others in the way God has loved and accepted us. · Stage Six: The Life of Love. This can only be described as total Christlikeness. It is a life of complete humility, obedience and service. How we experience the Wall may be different for every person. The Wall represents our will and God’s will meeting face to face, and each of us has our own person needs for healing or renewal. It has to do with breaking down the barriers between ourselves and a new awareness of God in our lives. The Wall is both scary and unpredictable. Everyone’s experience is different. Some move through the Wall relatively quickly. Others need a lot of time. We may encounter the Wall a number of different times at different levels. There is no clear and definite way of encountering the Wall, for the simple reason that the issues that bring us to the Wall can be so different.
Here are some of the things that bring us to the wall. · Strong will For those who like to be in control, the issue is exactly that – control. You see, if I am in control of my life, then God is not. Sometimes we don’t even realise to what degree we seek control in our lives. The struggle between our will and God’s will highlights the lengths we go to sometimes to maintain control. We have been in charge of our lives for so long, and it has worked for us in the past. Now, we find God inviting us to give up control to Him. In moving through the Wall, God may invite us to down of our egos and relinquishing of control. This is easy for some, and it’s really painful for others. Our egos do not like being surrendered. We fear letting go of control. It goes right to the core of our faith. Just how deeply do we really trust God? · Deep hurt For some the Wall represents painful memories of abuse, rejection, or abandonment. Those memories provide prompt us to develop ways of behaviour aimed at self-protection and using every possible means to avoid being exposed to that kind of pain again. Moving through the Wall, in this case, might mean that God is inviting us to revisit our wounds and give grace to those who did the wounding. It will also mean opening yourself up to being vulnerable again. This can be terrifying, especially for those who have been badly hurt. · Wrong thinking For others, the Wall represents a challenge to what we may have always believed about God or how life is approached. In the past, we had God and life all figured out. We “knew” how it all worked. Now, to get through the Wall, we find ourselves having to lay that all down and trusting that God is there, even though we may have to admit that we don’t really know Him as well as we thought we did. God is inviting us to see and experience Him in new and fresh ways. · Guilt & shame Then there are others who approach the Wall with deep feelings of inadequacy. They have tried to live up to the expectations – either the expectations of others or the expectations they have put on themselves – and have come away feeling hopelessly unworthy. This is made even more difficult because sometimes our feelings of guilt are earned and sometimes they are not. o Earned guilt comes when we have really done the wrong thing, and we feel remorse for that wrongdoing. o Unearned guilt is when we have simply not lived up to unrealistic expectations. Negotiating the Wall here might mean that God is inviting you to accept His unconditional love. o God might just want to free you from the chains of your own guilt. o Or He might want to free you from the guilt imposed on you by others.
Although the Wall is an individual experience, and I am not through it yet, I want to offer a few suggestions for facing the Wall.
SUGGESTION NO. 1 You have to want to The Wall is a tough place to be. It strips you bare and rolls back your self will, your defense mechanisms, and many of the things you have relied on to get by previously. It’s so hard, in fact, that most will not make it unless they have sufficient motivation to get through. o A longing for something deeper… o A deep desire for inner healing… o A conviction that you cannot go back… This is where there has to be a resolve to do whatever it takes to get past the wall. If you don’t have that, then you will either retreat to an earlier stage, or you will get stuck at the wall. At that point, you are unable to reach inward because the risk of exposing yourself is too painful. You also are not able to reach outward to others, because your life is consumed with questions which have no answers. So get rid of all evil behaviour. Be done with all deceit, hypocrisy, jealousy, and all unkind speech. Like newborn babies, you must crave pure spiritual milk so that you will grow into a full experience of salvation. Cry out for this nourishment, now that you have had a taste of the Lord's kindness. 1 Peter 2:1-3. NLT
SUGGESTION NO. 2 Don’t try to “beat” the Wall There is a temptation to want to work through the Wall in our own capacity. We want to analyse it, jump over it, tunnel under it, command it to crumble. The reality is, God must lead us through the wall. If it was any other way, then we would be in control, and that defeats the whole purpose. The big idea is to surrender these areas of self-will, self-protection, unhealed hurts, and feelings of shame. To do this, we cannot remain in control. This is God’s work, and we have to allow Him to do it. Some people handle this surrender better than others. For some, the idea of handing over control to God comes easily. For others – the control freaks among us – that transition comes as a battle. We think we have to fight, and we do, but our fight is the fight of surrender. It’s a battle we fight on our knees. For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. Philippians 2:13. NLT So, when you are drawn to take charge and plot your own course, slow down and remind yourself that this is a control issue, and if you’re in control then God isn’t in control.
SUGGESTION NO. 3 Make time & space If you are always busy and surrounded by activity and “noise” it’s going to be harder to listen to what God may be saying to you. If God is going to guide you through this experience, you will need to set aside time and space seek out God. Talk to God. Listen to God. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you in new and different ways. This is where the spiritual disciplines can be really helpful. Things like… o Quietness & solitude… o Meditation… o Journaling… o Fasting… Be still, and know that I am God! Psalm 46:10. NLT
These things can quiet us down and make us more able to hear God speak to us in that quiet voice of the Spirit.
SUGGESTION NO. 4 Ask God what He wants to do The Wall in immensely personal. The way through will be different for each individual. That’s why it’s important to let God control the direction and the timing of our journey through the Wall. o Maybe you need to face your own ugliness. There might be things in your life that leave you feeling unacceptable to God. o It might be that God is inviting you to surrender your ego – your self will and ambition – to Him. o It could be that God’s inviting you to revisit the hurts and scars in your life so that you can see Him in each one and extend grace to those who have harmed you. Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life. Psalm 139:23-24. NLT In this, you’re asking for the clarity of what needs to be done & the courage to do it. Trust God to know what you need. Ask Him, and listen for the answer.
SUGGESTION NO. 5 Get help Sometimes things are so turbulent at this stage that we cannot see or hear God at work on our own. We may need to get help from someone who has travelled the road before, or someone who is trained to help people with this part of the journey. We don’t always see things clearly in Stage 4. Last week we looked at the prophet Elijah. At one point, Elijah could only see himself alone against the world, while God saw 7000 who had not bowed down to Baal. We might need someone who understands the situation and who can help us to see more clearly the directions to take. As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. Proverbs 27:17. NLT If there is one thing I have learned on this part of the journey, it’s to exercise discernment about who you open up to. Those who have never experienced Stage 4 will not understand what you’re going through. If you open up too much to them they will either look at you with a blank stare (not knowing what to think) or they will try to fix you. On the other hand, those who have been to Stage 4 and then retreated to an earlier stage will be unwilling to engage. Your experience reminds them of their own unfinished business. Personally, I have started seeing a Spiritual Director, who has been helping me navigate the chaos. He is helping me to see God’s presence in every situation, even the really painful ones. Whomever you choose to help you, make sure it is someone who understands the whole idea of the journey.
Wrap up: A few questions What is standing in the way of God living God’s life through you? Which do you feel God may be inviting you to surrender… Strong will? Deep hurt? Wrong thinking? Guilt & shame? How willing are you to engage the wall?
To close, have a look and listen here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIG6zFVlL9M Song: The Arms that Hold the Universe. By 33 Miles |
